[00:00.79]Kids, Stella Zinman was the girl I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with.
[00:00.79]孩儿们 我曾以为Stella Zinman 就是与我共度余生的女子
[00:05.58]Until she left me at the altar, smashing my heart to smithereens.
[00:05.58]直到她在圣坛上离我而去 狠狠地伤透我的心
[00:09.14]So when I ran into her seven months later, there was only one way to deal with her.
[00:09.14]时隔7个月 当我再次碰到她时 唯一能说的便是
[00:14.18]- Stel! Great to see you! - You, too.
[00:14.18]- Stella 真高兴见到你! - 我也是
[00:18.66]And Tony!
[00:18.66]还有Tony!
[00:21.48]What a nice surprise.
[00:21.48]真是又惊又喜呀
[00:22.95]What a nice surprise?
[00:22.95]又惊又喜?
[00:24.72]No, a nice surprise would be if a safe fell from 40 stories and smushed them both.
[00:24.72]要是有个保险箱从天而降 把他们砸个稀巴烂 那才叫又惊又喜
[00:29.68]I mean, you didn't let them have it?
[00:29.68]我是说 你就没做啥出格的?
[00:31.26]No, we had a nice friendly chat, then they went their way and I went mine.
[00:31.26]嗯 我们就拉拉家常 然后分道扬镳
[00:34.54]Ted, you blew it.
[00:34.54]Ted 你搞砸了
[00:35.73]He blew it, right?
[00:35.73]全搞砸了 对吧?
[00:39.50]Well played, sir.
[00:39.50]干得好 伙计
[00:40.19]- Bravo. - What?
[00:40.19]- 好极了 - 啥?
[00:41.73]You see, Robin, Ted played it cool, which is exactly what he should have done.
[00:41.73]Robin Ted就该表现得谈定从容
[00:46.12]As a matter of fact, I'd say on a scale ranging from...
[00:46.12]其实 我觉得你会从...
[00:48.96]And I kept this sweater of yours...
[00:48.96]我一直保存着你的毛衣
[00:51.40]and sometimes I just sit in the bathtub for hours just, you know, just sniffing it.
[00:51.40]有时我久久地躺在浴缸里 闻着毛衣上你的香味
[00:57.98]all the way to...
[00:57.98]到另一个极端...
[00:59.79]This is my new fianc\e.
[00:59.79]这是我的未婚妻
[01:01.48]She's basically Stella, except she's French and, as you can see, she's got enormous cans.
[01:01.48]她是法国版Stella 你也能看出来 她够丰满吧
[01:07.66]Enchant\.
[01:07.66]幸会 (法语)
[01:11.14]Enchant\.
[01:11.14]幸会
[01:16.65]I'd say you nailed it.
[01:16.65]这样你占尽上风
[01:19.15]I'll do you one better.
[01:19.15]我的主意比你的好
[01:20.46]You, sir, got Stella thinking.
[01:20.46]你让Stella开始思考
[01:22.81]"Gosh, Ted seemed so cool today. Did I choose the wrong guy?"
[01:22.81]"天哪 Ted怎么看上去这么帅啊 我当初是不是选错人了?"
[01:27.24]Give it a week; you'll get her back.
[01:27.24]一周后她就会来找你
[01:29.81]And her front.
[01:29.81]还有她的"小妹妹"
[01:31.83]Oh, did you just feel that?
[01:31.83]你们感觉到了不?
[01:33.70]I think we just had a "what up" quake.
[01:33.70]我想是"太帅"震了下而已
[01:37.04]I don't want her back. Or her front. I just want to move on.
[01:37.04]我才不要吃回头草 也不要她的"小妹妹"  我只想往前看
[01:41.00]And this was an important st towards that.
[01:41.00]这是重要的一步
[01:42.98]To moving on.
[01:42.98]迈向新生活
[01:45.16]And you know, I really meant it.
[01:45.16]我是说真的
[01:47.70]But still, that night, my mind began to wander.
[01:47.70]但那晚 我还是开始胡思乱想
[01:54.81]- I made a terrible mistake. - I know.
[01:54.81]- 我真是大错特错 - 我知道
[01:57.06]I'm a better person than you are.
[01:57.06]我的人品比你好得多
[01:58.78]You totally are.
[01:58.78]绝对是这样
[02:00.36]Let's get back together and have way more sex than before.
[02:00.36]我们重归于好 让爱爱来得更猛烈些吧
[02:02.22]Deal!
[02:02.22]好!
[02:13.57]Hello, Ted.
[02:13.57]你好 Ted
[02:27.19]How I Met Your Mother Season04 Episode23 
[02:27.19]老爸老妈浪漫史 第四季 第23集 
[02:30.29]No, come in. It's not weird at all.
[02:30.29]进来吧 没什么尴尬的
[02:32.47]Ted, Teddy Ted Ted Ted.
[02:32.47]Ted Teddy Ted Ted Ted
[02:37.16]I knew it was wrong to steal somebody's fianc\e.
[02:37.16]我就知道不该夺人所爱
[02:39.98]I mean, I grappled with it. I was up nights.
[02:39.98]我是说 我现在烦恼不已 夜夜难眠
[02:42.60]And not for the good reason.
[02:42.60]不是因为好事才睡不着 (做爱算好事咩 Barney说当然算)
[02:44.41]Well, sometimes for the good reason.
[02:44.41]当然有时候也的确是在做好事
[02:46.74]I mean, Stella and I hadn't seen each other in five years, so,
[02:46.74]我是说 我和Stella 5年没见面了
[02:49.04]as you can imagine, the beginning, it was just fast and furious.
[02:49.04]你能想象 一开始爱是那么炽热激荡
[02:52.97]Lamps breaking, furniture moving. You see this bald patch?
[02:52.97]屋子里天崩地裂 看到这里都秃了一块不?
[02:55.80]- Yeah, Tony... - Anywaywe moved on.
[02:55.80]- 嗯 Tony... - 总之我们迈向了新生活
[02:58.72]Me, Lucy, Stella-- we were gonna move to L.A.
[02:58.72]我 Lucy Stella 我们本打算搬去洛杉矶
[03:01.77]I was gonna become a screenwriter.
[03:01.77]我打算做编剧
[03:03.97]Then we bumped into you, and you just looked so... sad.
[03:03.97]然后我们遇到你 你看上去这么...悲伤
[03:09.01]Sad? No. I-I think what you're calling sad was actually a jovial nonchalance.
[03:09.01]悲伤? 没 我认为 你们所说的悲伤是指毫不介意
[03:14.77]Ted, you looked awful, okay?
[03:14.77]Ted 你看上去糟透了
[03:16.79]Like a little dachshund puppy with a bad back that's got to pull itself around on a cart.
[03:16.79]就像只受伤的小猎狗 蜷缩在货车的角落
[03:21.01]Why are you here?
[03:21.01]你到底来干吗?
[03:22.36]Look, Ted, I know I can come across pretty tough,
[03:22.36]听着 Ted 我知道我来很冒昧
[03:26.48]but I can't bear to have hurt someone the way I hurt you.
[03:26.48]但我实在不能对你的悲伤视而不见
[03:29.38]I think fate put me on that corner to make this right.
[03:29.38]我觉得是命运安排我们在街角相遇
[03:32.58]Obviously, I can't fill that giant crater that Stella left in your heart.
[03:32.58]当然我无法弥补Stella对你造成的伤害
[03:36.81]I've been dating. Like, a lot.
[03:36.81]我一直有约会 马不停蹄
[03:38.63]And then I heard you got fired.
[03:38.63]随后我听说被炒鱿鱼
[03:40.19]I transitioned into small business ownership.
[03:40.19]我现在自己开了家小公司
[03:42.71]It's the backbone of the economy.
[03:42.71]私有企业可是经济支柱
[03:44.71]No, it's not. Ted, my family's got a lot of money.
[03:44.71]不 才不是  Ted 我的家族大大有钱
[03:48.44]And I want to use that money to make this right with you.
[03:48.44]我想用那些钱来补偿你
[03:52.06]Tony is rich?
[03:52.06]Tony很有钱?
[03:53.32]Oh, Ted. Oh, Ted, tell me he wrote you a check.
[03:53.32]Ted Ted 告诉我他给你开了支票
[03:59.05]Tell me he wrote you a big, fat check.
[03:59.05]他给你开了张大额支票
[04:03.20]A check so big it doesn't take its shirt off when it goes swimming.
[04:03.20]支票太肥 它想游泳都脱不下衣服
[04:06.66]Ha, that is a big, fat check.
[04:06.66]那支票确实够肥
[04:08.37]A check so big, if you had sex with it, you wouldn't tell your buddies.
[04:08.37]支票太肥 要是你和它上了床 都不好意思跟自个哥们说
[04:12.06]That is a big, fat check.
[04:12.06]那支票确实够肥
[04:13.96]A check so big that when you sit next to it on an airplane,
[04:13.96]支票太肥 要是你乘飞机坐它旁边
[04:17.87]you find yourself wondering whether the check should have bought two seats.
[04:17.87]你会想这支票为啥不订两个座呢
[04:20.88]- That... Is a big, fat check! - Yeah!
[04:20.88]- 那...支票真是肥! - 嗯
[04:25.00]He didn't write me a check.
[04:25.00]他没给我开支票
[04:26.49]- Ted, I want to offer you a job. - A job?
[04:26.49]- Ted 我想帮你找份工作 - 工作?
[04:28.82]Every year, my family gives a lot of money to Columbia University, so I got some pull.
[04:28.82]每年我的家族都会赞助哥伦比亚大学 一大笔钱 所以我有些门路
[04:33.64]How would you like to design...
[04:33.64]你觉得设计...
[04:36.16]My heart leapt into my throat. A new library? A new student center?
[04:36.16]我的心快跳到喉咙口 图书馆? 学生中心?
[04:40.12]your very own curriculum as a professor of architecture.
[04:40.12]你自己的教案 当建筑学教授怎么样?
[04:46.07]No, thanks.
[04:46.07]不 谢谢
[04:47.31]What do you mean, "No, thanks"?
[04:47.31]"不 谢谢"是啥意思?
[04:50.84]Ted, you would be a great professor, okay?
[04:50.84]Ted 你会成为杰出的教授 好吧?
[04:54.77]You are knowledgeable, you're a good talker, and when you need to,
[04:54.77]你博学多识 出口成章 要是你愿意
[05:00.64]you can grow a very handsome neck beard.
[05:00.64]还能蓄上帅呆的大胡子
[05:03.63]I'm not gonna be a professor.
[05:03.63]我不想做教授
[05:05.58]Teaching architecture is what you do when your career has totally bottomed out
[05:05.58]当你的事业跌至谷底又得付账单时
[05:08.07]and you need to pay the bills.
[05:08.07]才选择去教建筑学
[05:11.92]Small business owner. Backbone of the economy.
[05:11.92]我可是小老板 经济的支柱
[05:14.45]I'm not gonna take that job, all right? I'm gonna be just fine.
[05:14.45]我不做那工作也会活得很好 
[05:17.51]- New topic. - Okay, new topic.
[05:17.51]- 换个话题 - 好 换个话题
[05:19.95]I just got a $200 speeding ticket today.
[05:19.95]我今天收到张200块的超速罚单
[05:23.96]Oh, that sucks, dude. You couldn't talk your way out of it?
[05:23.96]真逊 老兄 你就不能 花言巧语蒙混过去吗?
[05:26.56]You can't talk your way out of a ticket.
[05:26.56]没法蒙混过去
[05:28.20]I've done it. It was-- what was it? -- it was 1998.
[05:28.20]我就成功过 那时是... 是1998年
[05:33.15]******
[05:33.15]明尼苏达州 1998年
[05:33.15]- So where's the fire? - There's no fire.
[05:33.15]- 你是要去救火么？ - 没有着火
[05:39.54]Actually, uh, you know, there is a fire at this barbecue I'm headed to. Nothing special.
[05:39.54]其实 我正要去烧烤的地方点着火 也没啥特别的啦
[05:43.21]Burgers, ribs... brats.
[05:43.21]汉堡 排骨...腊肠啦
[05:46.16]Son, do you have any idea how dangerous it is to be...
[05:46.16]孩子 你知道这么开多危险...
[05:51.49]- Did you say brats? - Yeah, brats.
[05:51.49]- 你说腊肠? - 嗯 腊肠
[05:54.64]My mom marinates them in Belgian beer for two days. No big.
[05:54.64]我妈把它们泡在比利时啤酒中两天了 也没啥啦
[05:57.31]Funny thing was, I could've sworn that one of those thick, succulent,
[05:57.31]说也奇怪 有根厚实多汁
[06:02.57]hickory-smoked brats had some writing on it.
[06:02.57]的熏腊肠上面有字
[06:05.34]Weird. Anyways, what were you saying?
[06:05.34]真奇怪 你刚说啥?
[06:06.57]What-what did it say? The brat?
[06:06.57]上面写了啥? 腊肠上?
[06:10.57]It said "Property of Minnesota State Trooper Jorgensen." You a...
[06:10.57]写了"明尼苏达州 Jorgensen警官专有" 你...
[06:16.27]you a brat man, Officer Jorgensen?
[06:16.27]你就是腊肠男 Jorgensen警官?
[06:22.62]You going to this address?
[06:22.62]你要去这里吗?
[06:24.57]Follow me and lean on the horn. We're gonna be running some reds.
[06:24.57]跟紧我 拉响警笛 我们得闯几个红灯
[06:29.41]Well, duh.
[06:29.41]切
[06:30.99]I would've done that, too, if I'd have been going to a barbecue.
[06:30.99]我也会 要是我也正赶去烧烤的话
[06:34.52]Damn, I was.
[06:34.52]我靠 我就是啊
[06:36.04]See, it's all about sizing up your opponent.
[06:36.04]看吧 得先摸清你的敌人
[06:37.80]I could tell that the officer was a brat man because, well,
[06:37.80]我能看出那警官喜欢腊肠 因为
[06:40.50]he was out of breath just from walking to my car and he had mustard on his holster.
[06:40.50]没走几步路他就喘不过气来 还有枪套上有芥末
[06:45.98]Marshall Eriksen!
[06:45.98]Marshall Eriksen!
[06:47.88]Manipulating an officer of the law with your sausage.
[06:47.88]仅凭腊肠就搞定巡警
[06:51.63]That is very hot.
[06:51.63]简直酷毙啦
[06:53.82]You think I can't talk my way out of a ticket?
[06:53.82]你觉得我不能蒙混过去?
[06:57.02]You think I can't talk my way out of a ticket?
[06:57.02]你觉得我不能蒙混过去?
[07:01.37]I am Barney Stinson, master of manipulation.
[07:01.37]我可是Barney Stinson 操纵万物的主人
[07:04.67]If I can talk a stripper into paying me for a lap dance,
[07:04.67]我都能让舞娘付我脱衣舞的钱
[07:07.84]I think I can talk my way out of a ticket.
[07:07.84]我觉得我能蒙混过去
[07:10.01]Challenge accep-- Wait for it.
[07:10.01]接受挑战 等下
[07:15.17]I don't get it.
[07:15.17]我不明白
[07:18.97]Oh, "Ted." AcceTed.
[07:18.97]"Ted"(accepTed后三个字母) 接受
[07:21.51]I get it now.
[07:21.51]现在明白啦
[07:25.80]- What now? - You want to be an architect? Great.
[07:25.80]- 又想怎么样? - 你想做建筑师? 很好
[07:28.64]Guy I went to private school with wants a new house built.
[07:28.64]我知道有家私立学校要造新楼
[07:31.87]Job's yours if you want it.
[07:31.87]要是你愿意 这活就是你的
[07:33.19]Tony, look, I don't need your help.
[07:33.19]Tony 听着 我不需要你帮忙
[07:35.82]Here's's what he's offering you.
[07:35.82]这是他开的价
[07:41.09]That is a big, fat check.
[07:41.09]这支票真够肥
[07:50.64]Showtime.
[07:50.64]好戏上场 (修太木)
[07:52.94]License and registration.
[07:52.94]驾照和登记证明
[07:54.40]Oh, of course, Officer. Right away.
[07:54.40]当然 警官 马上
[08:02.07]Sir, this is a gift certificate for a custom-tailored Italian suit.
[08:02.07]先生 这是定制意大利西装的礼券
[08:06.00]So, we done here?
[08:06.00]现在没事了吧?
[08:08.35]$375!
[08:08.35]375块!
[08:11.56]- And he kept the gift certificates. - Oh, man.
[08:11.56]- 他还拿走了礼券 - 天哪
[08:13.92]I'm gonna call Emilio and tell him to short-sheet him on the crotch.
[08:13.92]我要打电话给Emilio 让他给他裆部那里做得紧点
[08:16.75]You are bad at this, dude.
[08:16.75]这个你可不太在行 伙计
[08:18.29]Oh, whatever, Robin.
[08:18.29]得了吧 Robin
[08:20.56]Like you've ever talked your way out of a ticket.
[08:20.56]好像你蒙混得过去一样
[08:22.98]Are you kidding me? Robin's a pretty girl. Pretty girls don't get tickets.
[08:22.98]你说笑呢吧? Robin可是美女 美女不会吃罚单
[08:26.74]I bet Robin's been pulled over tons of times, never once gotten a ticket.
[08:26.74]我敢说Robin被叫停了无数次 但从没吃过罚单
[08:29.39]That is outrageous!
[08:29.39]这话可真不厚道!
[08:32.07]And factual.
[08:32.07]但却是事实
[08:34.52]License and regis...
[08:34.52]驾照和登记...
[08:37.76]Oh, honey. Oh, no, no, no, don't cry.
[08:37.76]宝贝 别别别 别哭
[08:41.77]It's okay. No ticket for you.
[08:41.77]没事 不开罚单
[08:44.27]Just, uh, go a little slower next time, okay?
[08:44.27]下次开慢点 好吗?
[08:47.32]- Yeah. - Okay.
[08:47.32]- 嗯 - 好
[08:52.15]Thank you.
[08:52.15]谢谢
[08:54.51]Yeah!
[08:54.51]耶!
[08:56.77]Excuse me. I think I left something in New Jersey.
[08:56.77]失陪一下 我想 我有东西落在新泽西了
[09:02.29]How did your lunch go with the rich guy?
[09:02.29]和富人的午饭吃得咋样?
[09:04.66]Well, uh, it started off great.
[09:04.66]开始还不错
[09:07.71]I want to design a house that celebrates the landscape without overpowering it.
[09:07.71]我想设计套房子来映衬 保护完好的自然环境
[09:11.88]You know, when Frank Lloyd Wright designed Fallingwater in 1935, there's...
[09:11.88]Frank Lloyd Wright 在1935年设计流水别墅时...
[09:15.45]Yes, yes, that's all fine.
[09:15.45]嗯 嗯 无需多说
[09:17.12]I'm sure you'll do a great job.
[09:17.12]我相信你的实力
[09:18.87]What I'm really worried about is the basement.
[09:18.87]其实我关心的是地下室
[09:21.09]Specifically the laundry room.
[09:21.09]特别是洗衣房
[09:23.25]The laundry room?
[09:23.25]洗衣房?
[09:24.55]I require a laundry room of 15 feet by 15 feet,
[09:24.55]我要一个15英尺长15英尺宽的洗衣房
[09:28.08]stain-proof ceramic tile from floor to ceiling.
[09:28.08]从地板到天花板都贴满抗污瓷砖
[09:31.83]I'm a man who likes to do his own laundry, and sometimes, it gets messy.
[09:31.83]我喜欢自己洗衣服 有时弄得乱七八糟
[09:37.00]- Messy? - Messy.
[09:37.00]- 乱七八糟? - 乱七八糟
[09:39.18]Steel chains will dangle from the ceiling at a height of nine feet.
[09:39.18]天花板上吊根9英尺长的铁链
[09:43.49]And that is where my laundry bags will hang for three days and three nights before I...
[09:43.49]洗衣服之前我会把洗衣袋吊在上面...
[09:50.40]clean them.
[09:50.40]三天三夜
[09:52.10]Uh, Ted, it-it kind of sounds like what this guy is asking you to design...
[09:52.10]呃 Ted 听...听起来这家伙 像是在要求你帮他设计...
[09:56.72]- It's a murder house. - It is. It's totally a murder house.
[09:56.72]- 虐杀室 - 简直就是个虐杀室
[10:00.25]You know, as a martial artist, I'm trained to trust my instincts,
[10:00.25]知道吗 作为一个武术家  必须要相信自己的直觉
[10:03.72]and my instincts are saying this...
[10:03.72]而我的直觉告诉我这间地下室...
[10:06.77]feels very good.
[10:06.77]棒极了
[10:09.45]The steak is so rare.
[10:09.45]这牛扒太生了
[10:13.37]Right? Right?
[10:13.37]是吧? 是吧?
[10:15.94]One final concern: soundproofing.
[10:15.94]最后一个要求: 隔音效果
[10:19.77]I tend to make a lot of racket when I launder.
[10:19.77]洗衣服的时候 我通常会很吵
[10:23.26]I'll show you what I mean.
[10:23.26]我示范一下吧
[10:25.37]I'm gonna go to my laundry room, and you tell me if you can hear me.
[10:25.37]现在我去洗衣房  你试试能不能听到我的声音
[10:33.96]Tony... does something feel off about this guy?
[10:33.96]Tony... 这家伙是不是有点怪怪的?
[10:36.67]Yeah. Off the hook!
[10:36.67]没错 终于走了 居然溜了!
[10:39.77]Bro, you are nailing this.
[10:39.77]兄弟 这单生意你肯定成
[10:44.85]- Ted, you can't design a murder house! - I'm not gonna design a murder house.
[10:44.85]- Ted 你可不能设计虐杀室呀! - 我才不会设计虐杀室呢
[10:47.14]- Ted, you can't design a murder house! - I'm not gonna design a murder house!
[10:47.14]- Ted 你可不能设计虐杀室呀! - 我才不会设计虐杀室呢!
[10:55.61]Bring it.
[10:55.61]好戏上场
[10:57.75]Officer, please, my wife is about to have a baby!
[10:57.75]长官拜托你 我老婆快要生宝宝了!
[11:00.28]- Her water just broke! - Where's your wife?
[11:00.28]- 她羊水破了! - 你老婆哪儿呢?
[11:03.23]She took the other car.
[11:03.23]她乘另一辆车
[11:05.17]This is Italian leather, so... I...
[11:05.17]这可是意大利皮革 你知道啦...
[11:08.73]Oh, come...
[11:08.73]噢 别...
[11:11.40]I'm sorry about that murder house thing.
[11:11.40]虐杀室那档事 真不好意思
[11:13.53]That was my bad. That's on me. So, new plan.
[11:13.53]我的错 好嘛 东家不做做西家
[11:17.11]You, my friend, are gonna build the Statue of Liberty a husband.
[11:17.11]朋友 你 将要给自由女神建一个丈夫
[11:22.99]- Now, I got some suction down at City Hall. - Tony, stop it!
[11:22.99]- 市政厅里我有人 - Tony 够了!
[11:26.33]I don't want your help, okay? You don't have to do this.
[11:26.33]我不需要你帮忙 你没必要这样
[11:28.85]- Yes, I do. - Why?
[11:28.85]- 当然有必要 - 为啥?
[11:30.24]Because...
[11:30.24]因为...
[11:33.71]when you were with Stella, I know how much I missed her.
[11:33.71]你跟Stella好那阵子  我深深地思念她
[11:37.48]I can only imagine you feel the same way.
[11:37.48]我能明白你现在的感觉
[11:40.61]Okay, well, let me put your mind at ease.
[11:40.61]那你就安心吧
[11:44.55]I don't want Stella back, okay?
[11:44.55]我没想过要Stella回来
[11:46.72]She lied to me and left me at the altar.
[11:46.72]她欺骗了我 在婚礼时放我鸽子
[11:48.70]What kind of person does that?
[11:48.70]什么人呀这是?
[11:51.21]I'm better off without her.
[11:51.21]没了她我还快活呢
[11:53.13]She's all yours, buddy.
[11:53.13]她是你的了 哥们
[11:58.62]There you go. Load off my mind.
[11:58.62]有你的 那我放宽心了
[12:02.01]And that was it.
[12:02.01]就这样
[12:03.27]Tony left, and I began to put this whole business far behind me.
[12:03.27]Tony走了 我也准备就这样让事情过去
[12:06.66]Or so I thought.
[12:06.66]至少我是这么想的
[12:10.70]Stella.
[12:10.70]Stella
[12:12.51]Tony broke up with me.
[12:12.51]Tony跟我分手了
[12:19.47]Okay, Tony broke up with you?
[12:19.47]Tony跟你分手了?
[12:22.56]He said it was because of something you said.
[12:22.56]他说是因为你跟他聊了些事
[12:25.04]You got Tony to dump Stella?
[12:25.04]你让Tony甩了Stella?
[12:27.32]I am very sorry, but I'm going to have to insist that you bump this.
[12:27.32]我很遗憾 可帅小伙干得好哇
[12:32.87]Let's, um, let's talk out in the hall.
[12:32.87]咱们在走廊上谈吧
[12:36.13]It'll be waiting.
[12:36.13]等你回来庆祝哦
[12:39.56]So, why are you here?
[12:39.56]为啥你会来?
[12:44.30]Look, Ted, this is about seven months too late, but here goes.
[12:44.30]Ted 已经七个月 我知道已经太迟了 事情是这样的
[12:50.48]I've been in love with Tony since high school.
[12:50.48]Tony跟我在高中就开始拍拖
[12:53.69]We dated for a long time, but then I got pregnant,
[12:53.69]咱们的关系维持了很久 可后来我怀孕了
[12:56.87]and I guess for two 19-year-olds it was just too much to handle, so we broke up.
[12:56.87]当时我们都只有19岁 这对我们太沉重了 所以我们分手了
[13:01.84]And for a long time I just focused on being a mother.
[13:01.84]然后很长的时间里  我专心做好母亲的角色
[13:05.64]I forgot about Tony. I forgot about...
[13:05.64]忘记Tony 忘记...
[13:09.08]the very idea of being in love.
[13:09.08]如何去爱
[13:13.28]And then you came along and reminded me. And...
[13:13.28]是你闯进我的生活 唤醒我的爱
[13:16.40]I loved you for that.
[13:16.40]我就是爱上了你这点
[13:19.62]I loved you so much, in fact, that it was just shy of enough.
[13:19.62]我爱你太深 怎么都爱不够
[13:27.57]But I never stopped loving Tony.
[13:27.57]但我对Tony的爱从未停止
[13:31.17]Take him back, honey. He's sorry.
[13:31.17]原谅他吧 亲爱的 他知道错了
[13:34.23]No, that's-that's not... that's not what's happening.
[13:34.23]不 事情...事情不是这样的
[13:36.75]Just go back inside, Mrs. Matsen.
[13:36.75]回屋子里去吧 Matsen太太
[13:43.18]It was good seeing you, Stella.
[13:43.18]见到你很高兴 Stella
[13:45.21]Can you talk to Tony?
[13:45.21]你能劝劝Tony吗??
[13:49.55]What?
[13:49.55]什么?
[13:50.46]He'd listen to you. You changed his mind. You could change it back.
[13:50.46]他会听你的 解铃还须系铃人
[13:53.61]I know it's an awful thing to ask...
[13:53.61]我知道这样要求你很过分...
[13:55.77]Yeah, it's an awful thing to ask.
[13:55.77]没错 确实很过分
[13:58.16]Well, I don't know what else to do, okay?
[13:58.16]我不知道该怎么办了 好吗?
[14:00.32]I love him.
[14:00.32]我爱他
[14:02.16]Oh, you love him. So what, you're-you're appealing to the romantic in me?
[14:02.16]噢 原来你爱的是他  然后还想要我同情你?
[14:06.44]Is that your strategy?
[14:06.44]这就是你的策略?
[14:08.38]Because that guy's gone.
[14:08.38]那人已经走了
[14:10.37]You can't pull those strings anymore.
[14:10.37]你已经拉不回来了
[14:12.22]They're not attached to anything thanks to you.
[14:12.22]就是因为你 他没有任何羁绊
[14:15.59]Go ahead, honey, kiss him!
[14:15.59]去吧 亲爱的 亲他!
[14:17.45]- Go inside, Mrs. Matsen! - Mrs. Matsen, go inside!
[14:17.45]- 给我回去! Matsen太太 - Matsen太太 回去!
[14:22.04]Okay, you can do this. You can do this!
[14:22.04]你能行! 你能行!
[14:25.74]Oh, you can do this.
[14:25.74]噢 你肯定行
[14:29.19]- License and regis... - License and registration.
[14:29.19]- 请出示执照和登记证... - 请出示执照和登记证明
[14:31.39]Excuse me?
[14:31.39]什么?
[14:32.94]I can only assume you need a license to have a face that beautiful.
[14:32.94]像你这么漂亮的脸蛋 我想也得要个执照吧
[14:36.61]And that body?
[14:36.61]还有这具娇躯?
[14:38.27]I'm guessing something that explosive has to be registered with the proper authorities.
[14:38.27]这么爆炸性的身材  估计要登记注册以防万一
[14:44.05]- Get out of the car. - Why, am I under arrest?
[14:44.05]- 下车 - 怎么了 我被捕了吗?
[14:47.57]No...
[14:47.57]不是...
[14:52.75]but you're about to be under me.
[14:52.75]不过你要被上了
[14:58.06]No. False. Did not happen.
[14:58.06]才不是 你瞎掰的
[15:00.62]That's a line from a porno. I've seen that porno.
[15:00.62]那是A片的情节 那A片我看过
[15:03.39]Hell, I've made that porno.
[15:03.39]甚至连我的春梦都出现过这情节
[15:06.35]When will you guys realize that the only difference between my real life and a porno
[15:06.35]你们就不知道  我的人生与A片间的不同之处
[15:09.52]is my real life has better lighting?
[15:09.52]只在于我的人生更加精彩吗?
[15:11.29]You're lying.
[15:11.29]你在撒谎
[15:12.46]I am not lying!
[15:12.46]我没撒谎!
[15:14.32]I swear on my mother.
[15:14.32]我以我老母的名义起誓
[15:16.58]I swear on Goliath National Bank.
[15:16.58]我以歌利亚国家银行的名义起誓
[15:18.87]I swear on my suits.
[15:18.87]我以我西服的名义起誓
[15:20.69]I... am... not... lying.
[15:20.69]我... 没... 撒... 谎
[15:24.59]He was lying. Here's what really happened.
[15:24.59]他在撒谎 事实是这样的
[15:27.53]Go ahead, honey, kiss him.
[15:27.53]去吧 亲爱的 亲他
[15:29.30]- Go inside, Mrs. Matsen! - Mrs. Matsen, go inside!
[15:29.30]- 给我回去! Matsen太太 - Matsen太太 回去!
[15:35.06]Is there anything I can do to make this better?
[15:35.06]你要我怎么做才肯帮我?
[15:36.80]No.
[15:36.80]不帮
[15:40.51]Let's go to the mall, everybody!
[15:40.51]大家快来商场吧! (Robin成名曲... 笑翻)
[15:43.31]- Hello. - Ted, it's me! It's Barney It's me!
[15:43.31]- 喂 - Ted 是我! Barney 是我!
[15:45.26]I need your help! I'm in big trouble!
[15:45.26]快帮帮我! 我惹大麻烦了!
[15:46.72]Whoa-whoa-whoa, slow down. What happened?
[15:46.72]慢点讲 怎么了?
[15:50.05]I'm guessing something that explosive has to be registered with the proper authorities.
[15:50.05]这么爆炸性的身材  估计要登记注册以防万一
[15:55.40]- Get out of the car. - Why, am I under arrest?
[15:55.40]- 下车 - 怎么了 我被捕了吗?
[15:58.50]Yes, you are. I ran your plates.
[15:58.50]没错 我查过你
[16:00.19]You've had 15 moving violations in the last three days.
[16:00.19]最近三天 你有15次违反交通法规记录
[16:03.18]Get out of the car.
[16:03.18]下车
[16:04.58]But no, my wife's having a baby!
[16:04.58]等等 我老婆快要生宝宝了!
[16:07.20]- I have a sausage with your name on it! - Out of the car now!
[16:07.20]- 我有条香肠 上面有你的名字! - 立刻下车!
[16:10.74]I need you to come to Brazzaville, New Jersey and bail me out.
[16:10.74]快来新泽西 布拉柴维尔监狱保释我 (刚果首都... 什么破名)
[16:14.83]I'm kind of in the middle of something.
[16:14.83]我有事不能抽身
[16:16.27]Hurry, Ted.
[16:16.27]Ted 快
[16:17.45]You have no idea of the kind of the hardened criminals they've got me in here with.
[16:17.45]他们把我跟超残忍的罪犯关在一起
[16:20.81]Are we gonna get our spray paint back?
[16:20.81]你们会把油漆喷雾给回我们吗?
[16:24.06]Save me, Ted!
[16:24.06]快救我! Ted (Barney你个小样)
[16:27.38]You want to do something for me?
[16:27.38]你想要弥补是吗?
[16:29.03]- I need a ride to New Jersey. - Okay.
[16:29.03]- 我要人载我去新泽西 - 好的
[16:32.22]You'll pay for tolls, right? I'm kidding.
[16:32.22]过关费你给 是不?  开玩笑啦
[16:37.48]So Stella and I drove all the way out to New Jersey,
[16:37.48]就这样我和Stella一路驶去新泽西
[16:40.26]bailed your Uncle Barney out of jail and drove all the way home.
[16:40.26]把你们Barney叔叔保释出来  再一路驶回家
[16:43.59]Oh, by the way, Ted, how's that girl you've been seeing?
[16:43.59]还有 Ted 你现在约会的那妞怎样了?
[16:45.47]That super hot French chick with the big enormous boobs?
[16:45.47]那个超辣的巨乳法国妞
[16:49.21]Oh, you mean Claudette? She's, uh, she's fine.
[16:49.21]你是说Claudette? 她...她还好啦
[16:52.66]Man, she's the hottest girl you have ever been with, Ted. Ever!
[16:52.66]好家伙 那是你处过最辣的妞  Ted 最辣的!
[16:57.50]Bye, Stella.
[16:57.50]拜了 Stella
[17:03.52]Ted...
[17:03.52]Ted...
[17:05.18]I'm so sorry again about everything.
[17:05.18]我再一次说对不起
[17:08.59]- For what it's worth... - I'll talk to Tony.
[17:08.59]- 我应该... - 我会去劝Tony
[17:11.41]Really?
[17:11.41]真的?
[17:12.85]I want you to be happy, Stella.
[17:12.85]我希望你能幸福 Stella
[17:15.62]I'll talk to him.
[17:15.62]我会去劝他
[17:17.27]And I did.
[17:17.27]我去劝了
[17:18.97]I don't remember what I said to him,
[17:18.97]跟他说了什么我忘了
[17:20.76]but I guess I changed his mind because the next day, they flew to California.
[17:20.76]不过我猜我让他回心转意了 因为第二天他们就飞去加利福利亚
[17:26.87]Stel set up a new dermatology practice.
[17:26.87]Stel重新开了间整形美容所
[17:30.08]And against all odds, Tony found some success as a screenwriter.
[17:30.08]无独有偶 Tony成为了一个编剧家
[17:33.75]His movie, The Wedding Bride, was a big hit.
[17:33.75]他的作品 "婚礼新娘" 火爆异常
[17:36.99]But we'll get to that later.
[17:36.99]这迟点再说
[17:38.49]Okay, but just tell me this. Why Tony?
[17:38.49]不过告诉我 为什么选择Tony?
[17:41.88]I mean, is it the money, the kung fu pajamas? Like, what... what is it?
[17:41.88]因为他的钱 他的练功服? 还是什么?
[17:47.87]He's the one.
[17:47.87]他是命中注定的那个人
[17:51.67]The one.
[17:51.67]命中注定
[17:53.31]Yeah, I know it's kinda sappy, but, yeah.
[17:53.31]我知道有点无稽 不过 是真的
[18:00.84]Okay, I'm gonna say something out loud that I've been doing a pretty good b of not saying out loud lately.
[18:00.84]我要说些话 最近压抑了很久没说的话
[18:07.88]What you and Tony have-- what I thought for a second you and I had...
[18:07.88]你和Tony之间所拥有的... 我一度以为我们之间会有的...
[18:14.10]what I know that Marshall and Lily have...
[18:14.10]我s所知Marshall和Lily之间有的...那一切
[18:19.08]I want that. I do.
[18:19.08]我很渴望拥有 真的
[18:23.54]I keep waiting for it to happen and waiting for it to happen, and...
[18:23.54]我一直在等 一直在等 不过...
[18:29.11]I guess I'm just, um...
[18:29.11]可能是 嗯...
[18:32.18]I'm tired of waiting.
[18:32.18]可能是我已经厌倦等待了吧
[18:36.22]And that is all I'm going to say on that subject.
[18:36.22]这就是我对此唯一想说的了
[18:45.16]You know, I once talked my way out of a speeding ticket?
[18:45.16]知道吗 我讲过我有次蒙混过关被免开罚单吗?
[18:47.54]Really?
[18:47.54]真的?
[18:49.03]I was heading upstate to my parents' house doing, like, 90 on this country road,
[18:49.03]那次是回父母家 在国道上飙到了90英里
[18:52.13]and I got pulled over. So this cop gets out of his car.
[18:52.13]被警察截停了 那警察走出车
[18:55.82]He kind of swaggers on over and he's, like, "Young lady, I have been waiting for you all day."
[18:55.82]他有点装腔作势  说"小妞 我在这等你一整天了"
[19:02.27]So I looked up at him and I said, "I'm so sorry, Officer. I got here as fast as I could."
[19:02.27]我看着他  说"不好意思 警官 我已经尽快赶来了"
[19:08.28]For real?
[19:08.28]真事?
[19:10.31]No. It's an old joke.
[19:10.31]不是 是个老笑话
[19:15.90]I know thayou're tired of waiting, and you may have to wait a little while more,
[19:15.90]我明白你已经厌倦等待  而且可能还要等上一段日子
[19:21.76]but she's on her way, Ted.
[19:21.76]不过你的真命天女正赶来呢 Ted
[19:26.84]And she's getting here as fast as she can.
[19:26.84]她正尽快赶来
[19:40.03]Bye, Stella.
[19:40.03]再见 Stella
[19:42.34]Good-bye, Ted.
[19:42.34]再见 Ted
[20:13.85]tracked me down two days later using a phone book.
[20:13.85]她通过电话簿两天后找到了我 (那个女警察)
[20:16.97]And that's the last time I wrote my name in my undergarments.
[20:16.97]那是我最后一次在内裤上签名
[20:22.46]- Hey, Lily!You're back! - Lily!
[20:22.46]- 嘿 Lily! 你回来了! - Lily!
[20:25.92]Barney, when you told me that peanut butter and jam joke,
[20:25.92]Barney 刚开始听到 你说的那个花生酱玩笑
[20:29.99]I was completely disgusted.
[20:29.99]我觉得超恶心
[20:32.46]But I was in the shower this morning and it popped into my head and it actually made me laugh.
[20:32.46]可今早我洗澡时  我突然想明白 真的很好笑
[20:38.09]Peanut butter.
[20:38.09]花生酱
[20:40.07]So I can see now how I may have overreacted.
[20:40.07]所以我想明白 我是反应过度了
[20:43.42]Marshall's words, not mine.
[20:43.42]Marshall说的 不是我
[20:45.51]- Well, it's good to see you again, Lily. - Thanks.
[20:45.51]- 很高兴再见到你 Lily - 谢谢
[20:48.90]So what have you been up to?
[20:48.90]你们在聊点啥呢?
[20:50.42]I'm going to an amnesia ward with a bunch of photos of my children and a wedding ring.
[20:50.42]我要去健忘症康复所 带着一沓我"孩子"的照片和结婚戒指
[20:54.83]I'm gonna find the hottest patient/my wife, and we are going...
[20:54.83]找一个最辣的病人作为我妻子 咱们...
[20:58.40]Okay, so that's good enough for tonight.
[20:58.40]快乐的时光过得特别快 又是时候说掰掰
[21:00.83]I gotta ease back into this. See ya tomorrow.
[21:00.83]我要回去好好消化这段 明天见