ࡱ> \^[; R^ibjbj%%8tGdGdL*bRR8 TRRRRR0222222$w-:VVRR4CRR00RY0gjgg,VVgR l: ,{]Nc[:,{6Ɩ ~_pN&ll( N) Leonard...I've got terrible news. What's going on? ~_ b g*N)Y'YvOWmo` `HNN Before I tell you, perhaps I should soften the blow. (WbKNMR b~`Op_̑Q You're face is pleasingly symmetrical. Just tell me. `Ov8[y__U `O1\'T A Swedish team of physicists is trying to scoop our superfluid vortex experiment. Oh, well, that kind of stinks. N*N^txQvirtf[[V `bHQNekۏLbNvAmSO)om[ }Y'T ُ/f gpv`_ "That kind of stinks"? Why aren't you more upset? Did I soften the blow too much? NHNS" gpv`_"`O^勁f N=rJU bRMb~`OQ*YYNT Yeah,because this here is more like a Picasso painting. V:NُoR \[fP/fNE^kR"}vba;u What are we going to do? Perform the experiment immediately. bN`HNRz;RۏL[ I'd love to, but we need liquid helium and our shipment's on back order for a month. b_N` FObNm&l bNv&lZfN*NgMb0R A month? What? Are you kidding me? NHN N*Ng `OߍbbT That would have been a good time for you to soften the blow. That shirt brings out the blue in your eyes. s(W1\_T`O~bZP_̑QJU ُTd`lXbQ`Omv݄8w Thank you. Aren't you sweet. "" `O4Vwu Let's go check to see if the university has any helium in reserve. bNSgg'Yf[̑؏ gl g&llX[''T Did you know that I almost didn't wear this shirt today? `OwSbN)Y]p1\ NzُNc gT Hey, Barry, we're in trouble. We need liquid helium, does the department have any we can use? ]̑ bNx0RNp,bNm&l,|̑ gYYOvSNbN(uT Sorry, there's a shortage. And what we do have I need for my quantum excitation study. bIk ُN gNw:, N gvX[' bbegZPϑP[oSxvz But you won't need much for that. `O*N[ N(uY\JU True, but if it's successful, I'm having a party with balloons. vnx FOYgbRN,b_>m[begLpltJU Come on, Barry, there's a Swedish team trying to run our experiment before us. Can't you spare any? +Rُ7h ]̑ g*N^txQV,`bHQۏLbNv[,`Ow NSNp~bNT Be honest if the shoe was on the other foot, would you do this for me? `ON[ YgN)Ybcbx0Rُ`Q,`ONO?aa.^bT Yes. No chance. What are you doing? O NS,`O.^P_bT He said be honest, so I was honest. Didn't your mother tell you? It's the best policy. N[ @bNb[JU,`OkNlYe`OT ڋ[:N N So, what do you say? Hell no. @bN`Oa NYUO, NP['T He could've softened the blow. NSN~bNpQQv Why do you need Kripke? Can't you just go to Party City for helium? `ON:NeU~bN&ll,`ON NvcS>m[(uT^pNpT We'd have to go to every Party City in California. bN_эM[NhQR]v^MbY Sounds like you on Cinco de Mayo. ,Tweg1\P5g5eev`OJU(XTe ^]yg:Wby_v܀)R (WeS_eO gTy>m[ HI{I{) Hey, people were still talking about that party on siete de Mayo. bRv*N>m[0R5g7e؏ gN^ N~SbT Leonard, if that Swedish team beats us, I will never be able to enjoy anything from their country again. ~_ Yg*N^txQVbNbN,bdkuQ_N N?aN(u*NV[vNN Which is a shame, because Swedish meatballs are my favorite toothpickdelivered meatball. w:cS`v V:N^txQv8N/fbg1rv(uYr~{c@wTv8N If you need liquid helium so bad, I know a guy who can get you some, if you don't ask too many questions. Yg`ONwRm&l bƋ*NN,N.^`ONd0R MRc/f N*YY Who is he? Where does he work? How does he get the helium? How many questions are too many questions? N/fUOe^y#W N(WT?Q]\O?N`HNd0R&l?Y\Mb{/f*YY Maybe he's not for you. bN NT`ON Four questions. There answer's four. V T{Hh/fV Hey, you know who went out on a date the other night? Stuart. `OwSKNMRZf NS~ONT?eV\yr Oh, good for him. I thought so, too. m`UNJU,b_NُHNɉ_ So is she, like, homeless, or framing him for a crime? @bNُY/fe[SR_؏/f=hCw[N He's using some kind of dating app on his phone. N(WKb:g NňNN*N~OoN Oh, which one? Maybe we can get Amy to try it. I don't know. SNHN?bbN~s|_NՋՋ, NwS Stuart, can you come in here? eV\yr `OǏegN NT He tried to explain it to me. It shows you pictures of people nearby, you swipe them around, it looks kind of like a game. NՋ@wߍbʑǏ, NbO>f:yQDяv(u7b,`O]SnRbcN w wwegP*N8nb Oh, and if you lose the game, you have to go out with Stuart. Yg`O8nbN `O1\_ߍeV\yr~O What's up? Can you show us that dating app? ~bbr^V?`O~bN w w*N~OoNT Oh, yeah, sure. This thing has changed my life. SNJU L,ُoNw/f9eSNbvNu Wow. So how many girls have you met? Two. @bN`O~0RNQ*NYZ,2*N I probably don't need to mention there's an entire number between that and zero. b`b N(uY,2ߍ0KNvN"1"*NNLu'T Well, so how does it work? ُoN`HN(u Uh, well, itit shows me all the single women in a fivemile radius who are using the app. NbO>f:yQeWkQlQ̑Q@b gO(uُoNvUSsYP[ If I like the way they look, I hit "Thumbs up." If I don't, "Thumbs down." YgbU"kyYNvv 1\p"^",Yg NU"k 1\p"p" Oh, what would make you give a girl a thumbs down? `HN7hv`QO`O~YZp"p"bT First time it happens I will let you know. !kSue bOJTɋ`O Oh, hey. I just heard back from the liquid helium guy. What's he say? b6e0R*N&ll7uvVON,N`HN He's got what we need and can meet us tonight.Oh, really? N gbNvN SNNZfNf,/fT You know I don't like buying things at night. `OwSb NU"kZf NpNN January 7, 2009.I went to the Ralph's at 11:30pm to pick up Cracklin' Oat Bran for the morning and what did I see? 2009t^1g7e,bZf N11pJSSpN)YeTvqGr 6qTb w0RNeU The man restocking the cereal shelves. (W~e7irge'v^XT That's right. And what did he do? l Nr^VN He handed you the box directly and called you Stretch. It's like it was yesterday. NvcbeGr~N`O 6qTS`O&vzz,$O__NSS(WvJU Do you want liquid helium or not? `O0R^؏` N`m&lN Of course I do.I don't want that Swedish team scooping us. bS_6q`JU,b N`*N^txQVwcHQ{v Then I'm going to tell him we're in. bJTɋNbN Ta Leonard, wait. This is highly unethical. ~_ I{I{ ُ^8^ NS_ We're just bending the rules a little.We have grant money to do the experiment,so we're going to spend it on the helium we need. bNS/f z_SN N,bN gۏL[vb>k,@bNbNbُ>kySpN[v&l It's not like when Dr. Goldfarb claimed he bought an electron microscope and he was really just keeping a Russian girl in an apartment in Van Nuys. ُS NPb_l^ZSX[YXy]pNNN*N5uP[>f_\, wv/fN(WR]HYSvёK\υ"ёN+s" Was she helping him with his research? Sure. So, are we doing this? sYi[.^NZPxvzT?"S_6q",bN0R^ NpN Okay, but where does he get the helium? }Y'T SNv&l/fNT̑_egv Remember? Don't ask too many questions? ؏_T NY Uh, b4@hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,iNiPiRiTiViXi\i^i hoho hoo(hohcjhcUhzOJPJQJ^JUhzhXtOJPJQJ^Jo($&(* B P v  2L ^.Rgdz*v ,F&^& 6gdz6P<Z&l  ~ ! !!!!"#\###V$gdzV$~$$%X%t%&F&|&&<'n'(@((("):)))^****+,,z,,,,gdz,--.(.../(/z//002l22$3t3333L@d@:A~AAAxBB,Cgdzut this is violating university code. FOُ gݏbN'Yf[v!hĉ A little, but...if I may quote Einstein, "The pursuit of science calls us to ignore the rules set by man." z_ gp FO...1rVefWfǏBlyf[bNb_NRĉz6R^" All right, do it. Tell him we're in. Done. }Y'T pN'T,JTɋNbN Tab,}YN I can't find that quote on the Internet. Did you make that up? b(WQ Ng N0R1rVefWS݋,/f N/f`Owv Before I answer, may I just say your skin has never looked better. (WVT{KNMR,b_HQ `Ovv_N*Y}YN'T Aren't you just made of sugar. `Ov4V@T ߍbNN7h I'm not sure how I feel about this. b Nnx[[dk\OUOa` Oh, come on, just let him put the app on your phone. >e_ 1\NboNň`OKb:g N'T Yeah, Stuart got two dates with it. [JU e\Vyr~0RN$N*NYbT One of which would've ended in sex had she not said no. vQ-NN*Nlb~b eSU\0R^ NN Okay, all set. Okay, let me see. Nope, nope, nope... }YN ň}YN,b w w, NL NL, NL Oh, he's cute! Doesn't a teardrop tattoo mean he murdered someone? And he's sad about it. ُ*N^l,lnVHhv~ N/fNhNf@gǏNT?N[dka0Ru_JU Hey, I thought you were gonna be out late? bN:N`O_ZfMbOVegbT If you wanted me to stay out later, you should've given me more spending money. Yg`O`bZfpV[,1\^~bYpJU What are you guys up to? `ON(Wr^NHN We put Amy on a dating app, and we're seeing what's out there. bN.^~s|lQN~OoN,s(W(W w Nb gNHNN Oh, fun! Let me see. Uh, no... no, uh, definitely not. ga` b w w, NL, NL ~[ NL What was wrong with that guy? ُNT̑ N}YN Uh, he's Indian. We've already got one of those. N/fpS^N,bN]~ gN*N? NTN Ooh, we should find a nice Latino. It really round us out. Hey, I want to try. bN^~bN*NbN^T,bNُ*N\VSOf[,b`ՋՋ Uh, excuse me, ccan I have my phone back? N}Ya` bKb:g؏~bT Hang on, I'm trying to find you the next great love of your life. The man who will father your children. I{I{ b(W.^`O[~b NNMOc1rbT,`O*gegi[P[v6rN Okay, yes or no on white guy with dreadlocks? }YN <4Yv}vN`HN7h( wwegqNNkQ|Q~vt^lmvP[4Y) That must be him. Oh, of course. An nondescript, white panel van. N[/fN,[fU,Nl ghƋvhQ}vbSf You may be familiar with it from the sentence: N NُS݋`OSO,T@w3q "Their bodies were found in a nondescript, white panel van." NNv8\SO/f(WNl ghƋvhQ}vbSfQ~b0R" What's up? Uh, I'm Leonard. This is my friend. I'm Skippy. Skippy Cavanaugh. Great. `ON}Y,b/f~_,ُMO/fbv gS Sb}Q;Nu0}Q;NuaSt,}Y You got the cash? Uh, yeah, uh, right here. &^egNT?&^egN (Wُ̑bT Wait, hold on, hold on. How do we know that you're not gonna take the money and drive away? I{I{ NbaNba,bN`HNwS`O NObN1\э What ya doing, Skippy? `Oُ/fr^V }Q;Nu Exactly what 1970s television crime dramas have taught us. ُ/fߍ70t^NvjHhޏ~gRf[v You give us the helium first. `OHQb&l~bN Oh, how do I know you're not gonna drive away without paying me? b`HNwS`ONO NO6eN' N~1\эJU Guess I'm not the only one who watches '70s television crime dramas. wegb N/f/UNN*NO w70t^NjHhޏ~gRvN Look, you can trust us. We're respected scientists. Well, he is. ,T@w `OSNONbN bN/fSN \levyf[[ N/f I'm a wedding planner, who can't find love himself. b/fN TZZN*NOP['T Earlier today, I decoded the headers on your email, and I know that your name is Kenneth Fitzgerald. N)YeNeP b4x㉆N`O5uvh4YυD bwS`Ov TW[S<\eyQpgb_ From that, I figured out where you live and where you work. 6qTb~bQN`OvOO@WT]\O0Wp Now, to make this a Mexican standoff, I would say something like, uh, "You give us the helium or I'll turn you in to the authorities." s(W b`QSb"XT[\" bON{|Nb`O 6qTbOb`OOc_NZ NQ Perfect! Now we really are in a Mexican standoff. *YhN s(WُMbS"XT[\" Is this one of those times where I've won the battle but lost the war? /f N/fS0RNybbNby_ tSNbNv@\b Afraid so, Skippy. I told you we shouldn't go shopping at night. 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