延年益寿

In surgery for a heart attack, a middle- aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. "Will I die?" she asks.
God says, "No. You have 30 more years to live."
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great!
The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed.
Up in heaven, she sees God. "You said I had 30 more years to live," she complains. "That’s true," says God.
"So what happened?"
God shrugs. "I didn’t recognize you."

一个中年妇女因心脏病发而动手术的时候在床边看到了上帝。
“我会死掉吗？”她问上帝。
上帝说：“不会。你还要活三十年。”
既然还有三十年可活，这位女士打算好好享用剩下的时光，于是她趁住院期间隆了下胸，抽了下脂，缩了下腹，植了下发，给嘴唇注射了下胶原蛋白。她看上去神采奕奕。
出院的那天她昂首阔步地走出医院的大门、穿过街道，但是立即被一辆救护车撞死了。
在天堂她见到了上帝，向他抱怨：“你说过我还有三十年可活啊！”
“是的，”上帝回答。
“那我怎么就被撞死了呢？”
上帝耸了耸肩：“我没有认出你来。”